Summer is coming to a close and things are getting a lot easier around our house. We have had some crazy moments but even with the crazy there has been laughter. In fact, some really funny things have come out of the crazy and i wanted to record them. Here are a few things that come to mind as being funny now. Hindsight is great that way!
1. The Organ
About 4 weeks into my C section recovery I developed an incarcerated umbilical hernia. I went to the surgeon expecting him to say we should do something about it in a few months for cosmetic reasons only, but I ended up in a emergency CT scan to make sure it wasn't life threatening. This quick appointment turned into an all day affair and I had left the baby who was still nursing every 2-3 hours with my neighbor Mimi. I frantically called Marshall at work and asked him to bring me a breast pump to the hospital where they were trying to work me in for a last minute CT scan. He didn't know how long I would be there and how long my milk would keep so he decided to pack me a cooler to put the pumped milk in. So I am sitting in a hospital hallway when I see Marshall,dressed in his professional work clothes, racing down the hall carrying a RED small cooler. I'm sure people thought he was transporting a live organ through the hospital. He looked like he had just flown in with someone's new heart! This made me laugh out loud as I sat in a little hospital closet and pumped while drinking a disgusting huge bottle of barium in preparation for my scan. Breast pumping while drinking Barium, that was pretty gross but made easier by Marshall the organ transporter.
2. The Pantsing
During a subsequent surgeon appointment (the CT scan led to emergency abdominal hernia surgery) I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to pick Peyton up at school in time. The surgeon was running very late and I couldn't find anyone to get him so thankfully had the phone number of one of his classmate's parents. She agreed to drive him home to her house and I could pick him up as soon as the appointment was over. Peyton had gone through a lot of changes lately and me not picking him up was a first, so when I went to get him he was a little out of sorts. He refused to leave her house and I literally had to drag him on his back through the house to the front door. When we got outside I turned to say goodbye to this classmate's mother and FATHER and Peyton in an last minute act of desperation PULLED MY SKIRT DOWN to my ankles. Now, I had just had abdominal surgery and a baby and was about 60 pounds still overweight so this was not a pretty sight. The worst part- they lived on the corner of Colgate and Boedeker, a very busy street in Highland Park, so cars were driving by and saw my hiney. But even worse, yes it gets worse, his classmate's FATHER saw me in my maternity underwear and abdominal compression band. I barely knew these people. I quickly pulled my skirt up, got Peyton into the car, and called Marshall where I proceeded to laugh and cry at the same time. My Three-year-old pantsed me in Highland Park. Awesome.
There will be no picture to go with this!
3. The Sprain
On Peyton's last day of school I got great news. I was finally cleared to lift babies after the C Section and the Hernia surgery. I was in high spirits that morning! I took a shower and got dressed with makeup on (rare feat with a newborn!) and was all ready to attend Peyton's end of year school party. I had had to miss his Mother's Day Tea because of the surgery so had PROMISED him I would be there. I went outside to put the dogs in the dog run and missed a step and rolled my ankle and heard a loud POP! I couldn't move, put any weight on it, and crawled back inside. Well, I couldn't miss his end of year party so I called my amazing neighbor Mimi and she had a plan. My ankle was going to hurt whether I went to the party or not so she agreed to wheel me around the preschool in a wheelchair that she had at her house. I popped a vicodin, crawled to the car, and Mimi took me to his preschool. Once there she wheeled me to the party, with ice propped on my foot, and tears streaming down my face. But by golly I was there for it! Im sure the other Moms thought I was certified crazy, wheeling around, crying, and holding a huge ice pack on my purple foot. Im sure the vicodin on an empty stomach made me say some interesting things too. After the party I went to the ER where we realized it wasn't broken but sprained. Oh the things we will do for our children! Even after they pants us.
4. The Elaine
A couple of weeks ago I was driving the kids to school. It is usually chaos trying to get out of the house in the morning so I use the car ride to reconnect with them, sing songs, talk,etc. We were jamming to Laurie Berkner and I was trying to teach Mallory how to dance with her thumbs. Very reminiscent of the way Elaine, from Seinfeld dances,
So at red lights and while carefully driving I am also enthusiastically waving my thumbs from side to side, while Mallory imitates from her car seat. I was flapping my arms like a bee during the bumble bee song too. All of a sudden a car comes up from behind and passes me on this neighborhood road near the preschool! I was going the speed limit so I was so confused. I was so angry that it would dangerously pass me and my three babies and couldn't figure it out. Then it hit me. From his view all he could see was a woman frantically waving her thumbs and arms ahead of him, giving him the universal "pass me" sign. He must have been so confused when he passed me to only find a string of traffic ahead of him. It took me a few blocks to figure this out and when I did I just DIED laughing. Elaine strikes again!
5. The Mark
And finally, I'm pretty sure my pediatrician has had my emotional state on high alert for a few months now. I wanted Nolan to have his ears rechecked after an ear infection (I cried in my pediatrician's arms when she told me my 3 week old had an ear infection), but even more alarming to me was this strange green vein that poked out of his head when he got upset. I took him to the doctor and showed the nurse beforehand the vein- telling her it seemed to get much darker when he cried. She agreed that it was weird looking. My pediatrician came right in and I asked her if it was normal, she said "No, that is definitely not normal." I panicked! What was wrong with my baby?!? She then grabbed an alcohol wipe and wiped that green MARKER right off his head. Yes, the other children in our family had marked his head with a green marker right where his vein happened to be. I spent the next 5 minutes making sure she knew that I wasn't crazy. Oh well, we both shared a really good laugh over that one.
The Coloring Culprits?
Such funny little moments in our family's life. Usually at the Mother's expense but that is motherhood for you. Stressful at the time but a little perspective goes a long way. I can laugh at all of these things now and hopefully you did too!
